Shame of poor marriage? Or shame of starving daughter, Jailing her? Tough one. I don't normally do trigger warnings, but this post warrants one. Also, do not do an image search for Blanche Monnier unless you're keen for nightmare fuel. Once upon a time, in Poitiers, France in 1876, there lived a beautiful debutante (although … Continue reading Blanche Monnier Haiku
Tag: French history
Newly Made Widow Faces Accusations of Sexual Assault and Treason, Her Imminent Death, The Probable Death of Her Children; Doesn’t Throw a Goddamned Fit
This is related to this week's haiku theme, but also to current events. I apologize for it being so on the nose. But the Kavanaugh thing got my dander up and after reading about Marie Antoinette's execution, my dander rose further. Haiku coming later. October 16, 1793, PARIS - The trial of the Widow Capet, … Continue reading Newly Made Widow Faces Accusations of Sexual Assault and Treason, Her Imminent Death, The Probable Death of Her Children; Doesn’t Throw a Goddamned Fit
Madame de Maintenon Haiku
Snag the Sun King's heart By being only one who's Allowed to talk back. (Sorry for the lack of haiku yesterday. I've caught a cold, again. Pro tip: don't be a teacher if you don't like germs.) Maybe today's entry for French Queens Week is a controversial pick, being more than a mistress but not … Continue reading Madame de Maintenon Haiku
Margaret of Provence Haiku
A true marriage means Supporting your husband with His bullshit crusades. Today's installment of French Queens Week is pretty much a continuation of yesterday's, so it might be a good idea to read up on Blanche of Castile before you proceed. But you do you. Margaret was born in 1221 to Ramon Berenguer IV (count … Continue reading Margaret of Provence Haiku
Blanche of Castile Haiku
Think of teenage boy. Would you let him rule all France? Mother best step in. Today on French Queens Week is kind of a two-parter, and you'll see why. This entry might also be shorter than usual because I'm so flippin tired. Blanche of Castile was born in 1188, the third daughter of Alfonso VIII … Continue reading Blanche of Castile Haiku
Peter Abelard Haiku
Centuries pass by Dirty old man becomes Most tragic lover Today on Punchable Faces Week, we feature French theologian Peter Abelard, who is now most famous for his so tragic love affair with Heloise d'Argenteuil. Peter Abelard was born in 1079 in Brittany, the son of a knight. (And we all know what dicks knights … Continue reading Peter Abelard Haiku
Hortense Mancini Haiku
Could have been a queen, Wound up with a maniac. Thanks a lot, uncle. Theoretically, this should be a 'screw it' day, but I can't possibly let Royal Mistress Week end without one of Charles II's many ladies. Thus, representing the Stuart era, we have Hortense Mancini! Hortense was born in Rome in 1646, with … Continue reading Hortense Mancini Haiku
Grace Elliott
In battle of wits, Courtesan narrowly bests Madame Guillotine. Today on Royal Mistress Week, what do we have here? Oh! It's a bona-fide badass! Like the Scarlet Pimpernel sort of badass, with breasts and terrible taste in men. Grace Elliott was born in Scotland around 1754, and was brought up by her grandparents and then … Continue reading Grace Elliott
Adela of Normandy Haiku
Scores claim saintly mom. But how many have Vatican Backing that claim up? Mothers of Kings Week continues with Adela of Normandy, Countess of Blois! We're not exactly sure when Adela was born. Most folk think it happened after her pops, William the Conqueror, looked at England and said 'i want dis'. In any case, … Continue reading Adela of Normandy Haiku
Henri II Haiku
Youth weep from splinters, Kings weep from infected lance Wounds in royal brains. Henri II of France was crowned 471 years ago today, after syphilis took his dear old dad. Before he became king, young Henri had to spend four years in Spain as a Hapsburg hostage in place of pops. At the age of … Continue reading Henri II Haiku
Kelsey Ehler, AKA The Great Kelsini 