A draft of this uploaded before. This was a glitch. It was not meant to happen. Enjoy the completed post. Is it Prussian Court Or pit of hissing vipers? Same thing. Run, Vicky! Victoria, Princess Royal, and Empress of Germany for a hot second, could have averted some bad shit that happened in the 20th … Continue reading Victoria, Princess Royal
Tag: British history
Mary Tudor Haiku
When made to marry Gross old king, reserve next pick, Create paper trail. Welcome to French Queens Week, because we have barely struck the gold mine of drama that is the French nobility. Although today's bit of drama is actually brought to you, once again, by the Tudors. And this particular Tudor was only queen … Continue reading Mary Tudor Haiku
Elizabeth I Haiku
She ruled well, they say. But how, without husband's help? Clearly, penis lurked. We've had a few Saturdays without any nonsense and that must change. So to cap off Crossdresser Week, we're going to talk about the enormously stupid theory that ELIZABETH I WAS REALLY A DUDE IN DRESSES OMG. The theory goes like this: … Continue reading Elizabeth I Haiku
James Barry Haiku
C-section required! Mum and babe in peril? Ha! Think again, losers. Today on Crossdresser Week: James Barry, badass British Army surgeon with a secret! A word on pronouns before we begin: I'm opting for the singular 'they' for Barry, as while there is sound speculation that they were transgender, I just don't feel like there's … Continue reading James Barry Haiku
Diana Mitford Haiku
Class privilege is Long life sans guilt even though You're a damned fascist. Today's subject for this installment of Punchable Faces Week brings us some female representation, as did you know? Women can be enormous dicks too! Thus, we shall discuss Diana Mitford, one of the five oh-so-glamorous Mitford sisters. She was also a fascist, … Continue reading Diana Mitford Haiku
George, Duke of Clarence Haiku
Did this son of York Have a 'whine' or 'wine' problem? Sources agree - both. Today on Punchable Faces Week, hark to the tale of George, Duke of Clarence, the most useless of all the spawn of York. George was born in 1449 to Richard, Duke of York and Cecily Neville, the third of their … Continue reading George, Duke of Clarence Haiku
George IV Haiku
King so terrible, Nation looked to teenage girls To overcome shame. In compliance with my current need to swear and rant at great length, I hereby declare this Punchable Faces Week. First on the list is George IV, who was just an awful prick and a walking argument against the Divine Right of Kings. George … Continue reading George IV Haiku
Hortense Mancini Haiku
Could have been a queen, Wound up with a maniac. Thanks a lot, uncle. Theoretically, this should be a 'screw it' day, but I can't possibly let Royal Mistress Week end without one of Charles II's many ladies. Thus, representing the Stuart era, we have Hortense Mancini! Hortense was born in Rome in 1646, with … Continue reading Hortense Mancini Haiku
Jane Shore Haiku
So charming and gay, Only right royal Dick could Not stand against her. (And by 'stand', I mean 'erection'.) Today on Royal Mistress Week, we've got Jane Shore, the most famous of Edward IV's many, many, many mistresses. (Actually, her name was Elizabeth, but people just forgot her given name for several decades, during which … Continue reading Jane Shore Haiku
Maria Fitzherbert
His love is deathless, Save in face of debt mountains, His own dickishness. Delayed though it is, here is Thursday's installment of Royal Mistress Week. Friday's will come this evening, by Taiwan reckoning. It is a truth universally acknowledged that George IV was the worst - and yes, Jane Austen would have agreed 100% with … Continue reading Maria Fitzherbert
Kelsey Ehler, AKA The Great Kelsini 