Voted 'First Lady Least Likely to Put Up With Your Anti-Vax Shit.' Once upon a time, there was a disease called 'smallpox.' This smallpox was a son of a bitch, with a 30% mortality rate. And if you survived it? There was a pretty danged good chance you'd be scarred terribly as a permanent reminder … Continue reading Abigail Adams Haiku
Tag: American history
The Attempted Assassination of William Seward
Bones crushed by horses, Stabbed in face by actor's goon, Still not president. It is often forgotten that Mr Lincoln's unfortunate interaction with John Wilkes Booth was not the only shit going down on April 14, 1865. Particularly, that one of Booth's cronies had a go at Secretary of State William Seward. (Another goon was … Continue reading The Attempted Assassination of William Seward
Actress Keene Foils Lincoln Murder Plot, Claims Booth’s Heart
This is prompted by a biography of actress Laura Keene I had to give up on midway through for a number of reasons. One of those reasons was that if it had an editor, they didn't do their damned job. This lead to such sentences as, "She literally claimed their hearts..." April 15, 1965, WASHINGTON … Continue reading Actress Keene Foils Lincoln Murder Plot, Claims Booth’s Heart
Miss Veedol Haiku
Get it right first time! Or Imperial Japan Will shut that shit down. My parents are going to be flying over to Taiwan to visit me in mere hours, so here's a short piece that's vaguely related. On October 5, 1931, residents of East Wenatchee, Washington had the privilege of having the Miss Veedol crash … Continue reading Miss Veedol Haiku
Rose Greenhow Haiku
"Wow! Can't believe it! Totes p0wned abolitionist! Then everyone clapped." Once upon a time, I did whole week chronicling punchable faces in history. But of course, there are other historical faces in need of punching, so let's revisit that today! Rose O'Neal Greenhow was born in 1813ish in Maryland, the third of five daughters. Her … Continue reading Rose Greenhow Haiku
Helen Dortch Longstreet Haiku
Smile, belle of South! Time will come when you'll help to Kick Hitler in teeth. Sometimes, when researching another subject for a haiku, you stumble upon an equally deserving badass. Such was the case with General Longstreet, as that led me to learn about his second wife, Helen Dortch. Dortch was born in Carnesville, Georgia … Continue reading Helen Dortch Longstreet Haiku
British North America Haiku
Oh, hey, USA. Freedom sounds really great, but... It's not us, it's you. You might recall that thirteen British North American colonies declared their independence from Great Britain in 1776. If you can count, you'll know that the number of colonies they held on the continent was a little more than that. Why didn't they … Continue reading British North America Haiku
Lola Montez Haiku
Scandalous woman! Seducing kings to the left, Dancing sans drawers! Welcome again to Ehler's Choice Week, where I do what my family says for once in my life. Today, we have Lola Montez, an Irish courtesan, dancer, and actress - and also a possible inspiration for Irene Adler, one of the women acknowledged by Sherlock … Continue reading Lola Montez Haiku
Sarah Emma Edmonds Haiku
Pa forcing marriage? Sign up for Union Army. It's the only way. And now, it's time for Crossdresser Week. Our first entry provides us with some Canadian representation in the form of Sarah Emma Edmonds, Union soldier and spy. Edmonds was born in New Brunswick in 1841, and immediately proved a disappointment to her father … Continue reading Sarah Emma Edmonds Haiku
John Pemberton Haiku
Morphine addiction Needs radical solution. Like, maybe cocaine? Today on Quack Week, we've got someone I feel pretty sorry for - the inventor of what may be the most ubiquitous brand in the world. Yep, it's poor ol' John Pemberton. He was born in Georgia in 1831 and he seemed to have a pretty good … Continue reading John Pemberton Haiku
