It has been so very long since I've graced you lovely spawners of the next generation with my peerless advice. Please accept my apologies. I know every single thing I suggested must have worked flawlessly, but time has passed. Your babe has matured. New strategies are in order to outsmart them. Time to take it … Continue reading More Excellent Advice For Sleepless Mothers From a Childless Woman
Boston Corbett Haiku
Ladies of the nightWink and arouse your manhood?Best chop off your balls.Let me introduce you to the man who shot the man who shot Abraham Lincoln, folks.Thomas H Corbett was born in London in 1832, later moving to New York at the tender age of eight. Unfortunately, he went with the profession of 'hatter', which... … Continue reading Boston Corbett Haiku
The Attempted Assassination of William Seward
Bones crushed by horses, Stabbed in face by actor's goon, Still not president. It is often forgotten that Mr Lincoln's unfortunate interaction with John Wilkes Booth was not the only shit going down on April 14, 1865. Particularly, that one of Booth's cronies had a go at Secretary of State William Seward. (Another goon was … Continue reading The Attempted Assassination of William Seward
Five Prime Ministers, Five Years Haiku
Old? Popular? Great! But maybe have an heir in Mind when you drop dead. One of the benefits of the Westminster system of government is that it can survive five heads of government in five years more or less intact. The downside is that it makes such scenarios much more possible. Such was the case … Continue reading Five Prime Ministers, Five Years Haiku
Books Read in 2018
I read more books than you'll credit possible this year (more than 300). Like last year, I'll share the ten fiction and ten non-fiction books I got the most out of. Fiction: The Bear and the Nightingale, by Katherine Arden - Russian fairytale-esque fantasy. I felt right cold reading it, as is proper for a … Continue reading Books Read in 2018
Mona Parsons Haiku
Pros of nun schooling - Skills to stay so cool before Nazi judge, death stalled. You might have inferred from my post about my dear Grandpa Ivan that beneath the plaid exterior of the Nova Scotian man potentially lies the heart of a badass. Turns out, that applies to the women too. Mona Louise Parsons … Continue reading Mona Parsons Haiku
Poor Me Haiku
Brain fuzzed with sickness, Temper frayed by punk students. At least I've sleep? Pah. I haven't any cheese, so I'll keep the whine short. I've been sick with a bad cold lately, and while I'm mostly better, there's that residual cotton ball feeling in my skull that dulls my thinking. Also, sleep's been elusive, I … Continue reading Poor Me Haiku
Sweating Sickness Haiku
You think you're hot shit? Too bad weird mystery plagues Don't give a sweet damn. I've been sick as a dog lately. I've been miserable as fuck. Be that as it may, my knowledge of history has helped me acknowledge that welp, it could be worse. For example, I don't have to worry about a … Continue reading Sweating Sickness Haiku
Actress Keene Foils Lincoln Murder Plot, Claims Booth’s Heart
This is prompted by a biography of actress Laura Keene I had to give up on midway through for a number of reasons. One of those reasons was that if it had an editor, they didn't do their damned job. This lead to such sentences as, "She literally claimed their hearts..." April 15, 1965, WASHINGTON … Continue reading Actress Keene Foils Lincoln Murder Plot, Claims Booth’s Heart
(PSA) What is Sleep? Baby Don’t Hurt Me
“Hi, class! How are you today?” “Teacher, I'm tired.” “Hi, tired! I'm Kelsey!” Yes, yes. Poor me, I know. Moan, moan, moan. There! It's out of my system, for now. Moving on. Here's what's been going on with me this past month: I did Nanowrimo - winning, but producing unpublishable dreck in the process. While … Continue reading (PSA) What is Sleep? Baby Don’t Hurt Me
