"He died of sadness," Says King Edward. "Bloody knife? Silly you. That's jam." Henry VI of England died (was totally shanked by Edward IV's dudes) 547 years ago - another fun episode in that riveting family drama known as the War of the Roses. He became king when he was nine months old and continued … Continue reading Henry VI Haiku
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John Cabot Haiku
'Cross the stormy seas, He shan't rest 'til Passage found. And all for £10. Granted, that was equivalent to about two years' worth of wages, but for leading several potentially deadly voyages? (The last of which he probably died on?) Man, Henry VII was a stingy bastard. Incidentally, Cabot set out on his second voyage … Continue reading John Cabot Haiku
Sir John Franklin Haiku
Aging, pudgy cap? Try lethal incompetence To become legend Today is the 173rd anniversary of the Franklin Expedition's departure from England, after which nothing bad happened. Basically, the reason why Franklin was chosen to lead was because the top pick, James Clark Ross, promised his own wife to stop flinging himself into the frozen bits … Continue reading Sir John Franklin Haiku
Abraham Lincoln Haiku
Great fears of Old South - Illinois country bumpkin, Free blacks existing Today is the 158th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's winning of the Republican presidential nomination. A lot of people were like, "Who is Abraham Lincoln?" Some asked, "What is Abraham Lincoln?" Other, wiser folk asked, "Why is Abraham Lincoln?" It is really quite amazing … Continue reading Abraham Lincoln Haiku
Catherine I Haiku
Stacked washerwoman? Woo giant tsar and become Empress of Russia Catherine I died 291 years ago today. She was the second wife of Peter the Great and her origins were as humble as dirt. She ruled Russia after Peter died. Please not that she is not Catherine the Great - that was her granddaughter-in-law. Between … Continue reading Catherine I Haiku
Park Chung-hee Haiku
"Sure, this cell's dank, but Damn, this economy's hot!" Says jailed student. Today is the 57th anniversary of Park Chung-hee's coup. It was weird going into certain South Korean museums, because there was always a noticeable gap in the political history spanning from the end of the Korean War until the Nineties. It's like the … Continue reading Park Chung-hee Haiku
Financial Tips for Entitled Millenial Snowflakes
Photo by George HH As is famously known and universally acknowledged, today's working youth - the so-called 'Millennials' - are a lazy, shiftless bunch more concerned with their precious fee-fees and getting their next hit of avocado toast than putting in a hard day's work. As such, many Millennials are experiencing what they call economic … Continue reading Financial Tips for Entitled Millenial Snowflakes
