Photo by Chris F on Pexels.com As Abigail Adams once said, "Remember the ladies," and indeed, I have. As a companion piece to my previous post, Kelsey and Five Presidents Walk Into a Bar, I present my thoughts on which First Ladies would be the best to throw down with me. Again, the chosen few … Continue reading Kelsey and Five First Ladies Walk Into a Bar
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Kelsey and Five Presidents Walk Into a Bar
Photo by Chris F on Pexels.com Many presidents and presidential candidates are judged on whether it'd be nice to have a beer with them. This is a shallow and worthless metric. The real question is: "Who do I want by my side in a bar fight?" I've considered the matter thoroughly and I have my … Continue reading Kelsey and Five Presidents Walk Into a Bar
Plague Rates Dropping, Say Town Criers; Time To Party!
God's wrath has abated and we will never be in danger again.
Nancy Wake Haiku
French trees bear such fruit - Sweet to see, will judo-chop You in goddamned neck. This post is written in the honour of my Piper and Jason's newest addition to their family, who shares the same birthday as today's subject. May she prove as badass. As we all should know by now, World War II … Continue reading Nancy Wake Haiku
Taipei Haiku #77
Blue skies, fluffy clouds, Ample park facilities Can't cure hell's migraine. I have returned to Taiwan after a too-short jaunt home. My school is in session, my little dog continues to charm. The weather, as always, is hot. And my migraine is back. Water. Coffee. Free lunch bananas. They've failed me. Money is too tight … Continue reading Taipei Haiku #77
Canadian Election 2019 Prediction
As all Canadians are aware and no one else, an election is nigh! Hide your children, hide your spouse! (Unless they are sensible, educated voters.) My nation, be thankful, for I will tell you exactly how it will go. On October 21st, the polite, maple-scented masses will head off to their voting stations, as dictated … Continue reading Canadian Election 2019 Prediction
I Return! 100-Word Short Stories!
You thought I was dead. You were wrong. Here are three 100-word short stories, prompts provided by readers on Facebook. I'm doing this again tomorrow, so feel free to lob me a prompt by 11 PM Taipei Standard Time. And if you like what I do, throw me a tip via PayPal. The ultrasound had … Continue reading I Return! 100-Word Short Stories!
Abigail Adams Haiku
Voted 'First Lady Least Likely to Put Up With Your Anti-Vax Shit.' Once upon a time, there was a disease called 'smallpox.' This smallpox was a son of a bitch, with a 30% mortality rate. And if you survived it? There was a pretty danged good chance you'd be scarred terribly as a permanent reminder … Continue reading Abigail Adams Haiku
Election 2020 Predictions
It's only 21 months until the 2020 US Presidential Election, and as we know, politics are ever stagnant and unchanging. Therefore, I can predict the outcome of the DNC primaries and the election itself with an accuracy that is unmatched. Abraham Lincoln will rise from the dead, come out of nowhere, and snag the nomination … Continue reading Election 2020 Predictions
More Excellent Advice For Sleepless Mothers From a Childless Woman
It has been so very long since I've graced you lovely spawners of the next generation with my peerless advice. Please accept my apologies. I know every single thing I suggested must have worked flawlessly, but time has passed. Your babe has matured. New strategies are in order to outsmart them. Time to take it … Continue reading More Excellent Advice For Sleepless Mothers From a Childless Woman
