French trees bear such fruit - Sweet to see, will judo-chop You in goddamned neck. This post is written in the honour of my Piper and Jason's newest addition to their family, who shares the same birthday as today's subject. May she prove as badass. As we all should know by now, World War II … Continue reading Nancy Wake Haiku
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Taipei Haiku #77
Blue skies, fluffy clouds, Ample park facilities Can't cure hell's migraine. I have returned to Taiwan after a too-short jaunt home. My school is in session, my little dog continues to charm. The weather, as always, is hot. And my migraine is back. Water. Coffee. Free lunch bananas. They've failed me. Money is too tight … Continue reading Taipei Haiku #77
Canadian Election 2019 Prediction
As all Canadians are aware and no one else, an election is nigh! Hide your children, hide your spouse! (Unless they are sensible, educated voters.) My nation, be thankful, for I will tell you exactly how it will go. On October 21st, the polite, maple-scented masses will head off to their voting stations, as dictated … Continue reading Canadian Election 2019 Prediction
I Return! 100-Word Short Stories!
You thought I was dead. You were wrong. Here are three 100-word short stories, prompts provided by readers on Facebook. I'm doing this again tomorrow, so feel free to lob me a prompt by 11 PM Taipei Standard Time. And if you like what I do, throw me a tip via PayPal. The ultrasound had … Continue reading I Return! 100-Word Short Stories!
Abigail Adams Haiku
Voted 'First Lady Least Likely to Put Up With Your Anti-Vax Shit.' Once upon a time, there was a disease called 'smallpox.' This smallpox was a son of a bitch, with a 30% mortality rate. And if you survived it? There was a pretty danged good chance you'd be scarred terribly as a permanent reminder … Continue reading Abigail Adams Haiku
Election 2020 Predictions
It's only 21 months until the 2020 US Presidential Election, and as we know, politics are ever stagnant and unchanging. Therefore, I can predict the outcome of the DNC primaries and the election itself with an accuracy that is unmatched. Abraham Lincoln will rise from the dead, come out of nowhere, and snag the nomination … Continue reading Election 2020 Predictions
More Excellent Advice For Sleepless Mothers From a Childless Woman
It has been so very long since I've graced you lovely spawners of the next generation with my peerless advice. Please accept my apologies. I know every single thing I suggested must have worked flawlessly, but time has passed. Your babe has matured. New strategies are in order to outsmart them. Time to take it … Continue reading More Excellent Advice For Sleepless Mothers From a Childless Woman
Boston Corbett Haiku
Ladies of the nightWink and arouse your manhood?Best chop off your balls.Let me introduce you to the man who shot the man who shot Abraham Lincoln, folks.Thomas H Corbett was born in London in 1832, later moving to New York at the tender age of eight. Unfortunately, he went with the profession of 'hatter', which... … Continue reading Boston Corbett Haiku
The Attempted Assassination of William Seward
Bones crushed by horses, Stabbed in face by actor's goon, Still not president. It is often forgotten that Mr Lincoln's unfortunate interaction with John Wilkes Booth was not the only shit going down on April 14, 1865. Particularly, that one of Booth's cronies had a go at Secretary of State William Seward. (Another goon was … Continue reading The Attempted Assassination of William Seward
Five Prime Ministers, Five Years Haiku
Old? Popular? Great! But maybe have an heir in Mind when you drop dead. One of the benefits of the Westminster system of government is that it can survive five heads of government in five years more or less intact. The downside is that it makes such scenarios much more possible. Such was the case … Continue reading Five Prime Ministers, Five Years Haiku
