I Return to the Gym

It has not been easy for me this past while. (Many have it worse.) I enjoy the job I’ve had since September, but the schedule change and the arrival of my beloved dog caused me to let essential tasks fall by the wayside. One of these? Regular exercise.

During my time in Taiwan, I’ve almost exclusively been jogging. Jogging has the advantage of being cheap. The disadvantages: the time investment, assholish weather, idiots in your goddamned way. For my sanity, then, I’ve obtained a gym membership in this country and have started weightlifting again.

That’s why I’ve written a post I can refer to if I start moaning about how I’m too tired to go to the gym, boo hoo.

So, Kelsey! It’s so early in the morning that last night’s drunks are so at it. You want to stay in bed, with that adorable pup draped weirdly across your belly. No one blames you. That dog is really cute. But think on this.

You teach middle school girls. There are first year students who are taller than you. You need to establish dominance by regaining the ability to lift 100 kg off the floor and putting it down again, because your chipmunk-pitched voice ain’t gonna cut it.

It’s true that you don’t fit into a lot of women’s clothes for sale here in Taiwan. Sometimes that makes you feel bad. But it’ll make you feel good if the reason is that your butt has too much muscle from all the squats.

Your grandpa could beat up two men at the same time. What if you wound up in a similar situation? You can’t let his ghost die of shame.

You’re a naturally cranky and depressive person and exercise makes you less cranky and depressive. Do a favour for yourself and everyone around you.

It would be really cool if you could lift three grown men at the same time.

Now get your ass out of bed.

Even if you have to do overhead presses today. (Almost as bad as fucking burpees.) (But remember you also have to do cardio sometimes.)

Folks! Times are hard. If you enjoy my work, please consider tipping, becoming a patron, or sharing my posts. Thanks!

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