Ralphie Haiku

Dog? Or alien

Wearing a little dog suit?

Riddle for ages.

I’m four days into Nano, and I’m not feeling well besides. So I’m going to talk about dogs, or rather a dog again, because it’s soothing.

Ralphie is one of my parents’ two dogs. He is a Jack Russell / Chihuahua mix (or so they would have us believe) and he is an interesting boy. Good, but… Interesting.

He came to our family from a rescue organization, who spirited him out of a high-kill shelter in California. He used to be terrified of everyone, especially men. Now he is terrified that they won’t let him up on their laps.

He loves my mom more than anyone has ever loved anyone. He thinks she is God(dess). Common thought has it that most dogs think that of their humans, but that is not so. I know my Buffy loves me, but I don’t think she believes I created the heavens, the Earth, and everything in them in seven days. But I think Ralphie believes this of my mom.

This has not prevented him from once engaging in apple crisp theft. This action left my mom both disappointed and hungry.

Ralphie and Nature do not mix. In the past year, he has been skunked twice and stomped on by a mama dear when he got too close to her babe. (My mom saved Ralphie by running at the dear, yelling and swearing and throwing stuff.) If these experiences are any indication, he would last about ten seconds in the wild.

He does not smile. Smiling would detract from his soulful and passionate nature. Instead, he prefers to stare deeply and creepily into your eyes while pawing at your face. Then he will keess.

Sometimes he does an Elvis sneer and it’s cute.

When I am sad, I think of my parents holding Ralphie up to the camera during a video call, his front legs splayed, a weird, gormless look on his wee face. This gives me the perspective I need to carry on.

I hope you enjoyed learning about Ralphie. He would enjoy not leaving you alone.

Nanowrimo Stats! Today’s words: 3,018. Total word count: 10,348. Fighting!

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