Special Report: Wannabe Writer Begs For Cash

TAIPEI, TAIWAN –

Kelsey Ehler, an ESL teacher and wannabe writer, is begging for cash through social media channels.

Said Ehler, “I’m starting my new job soon, but it’s going to be another month before I see my first paycheck. I tallied up my money, annnnd…”

She took a deep breath and continued. “Yeah. Yeah. Donations would be nice. Or patrons. Or commissions. Want me to write you a story? Sure, yep, I’ll do that, no problem.”

Ehler paused. “No scat.”

She paused again. “Okay, scat.”

Ehler’s appeal has met with controversy in some circles.

Said one friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, “Don’t get me wrong. I like Kelsey. But she really natters on and I don’t think we should encourage that.”

Another anonymous acquaintance urged Ehler to consider raising money in a more lucrative way, such as through selling blood or organs.

Ehler has dismissed these concerns, on the grounds that the nattering is ‘genetic’ and that there is a potential of soul theft should she part with her organs.

Interested readers can give her cash through PayPal or Patreon. Those interested in commissioning work should email her.

If her appeal is successful, she has promised to stop looking at us like that.

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