Fuck! What did he say Treated inhaling toxic Fumes from volcano? A cold is sapping my energy this evening. Thus, I share with you some of the foolproof cures of Pliny the Elder, Roman military commander and naturally philosopher. (Yes, this is inspired by the 'Sawbones' podcast.) I know quite a few ladies that are … Continue reading Pliny the Elder Haiku
Month: August 2018
John Pemberton Haiku
Morphine addiction Needs radical solution. Like, maybe cocaine? Today on Quack Week, we've got someone I feel pretty sorry for - the inventor of what may be the most ubiquitous brand in the world. Yep, it's poor ol' John Pemberton. He was born in Georgia in 1831 and he seemed to have a pretty good … Continue reading John Pemberton Haiku
Satanic Panic Haiku
Good psychiatrists Don't love their theories so much They fuck up patient (TW: child abuse) Today on Quack Week, we discuss the Satanic Panic of the 80s, when the hair was big and the capacity to swallow whoppers was even bigger. That circus began with the 1979 book 'Michelle Remembers', by Victoria, BC psychiatrist Lawrence … Continue reading Satanic Panic Haiku
Theodor Morell Haiku
Third party ensured By force of arms, brains, daring, Meth-addled Fuhrer. Today on Quack Week, we have an example of questionable medicine that may have aided in the salvation of Europe! All because Hitler was really bad at choosing his doctors. Theodor Morell (1886-1948), Nazi, started out as a proper doctor. But after World War … Continue reading Theodor Morell Haiku
Linda Hazzard Haiku
Forty dead of want. Snatch their wallets, change their wills. "Poor thing. Pardon her." Today on Quack Week, we've got Linda Hazzard, who was an actual serial killer! Fun! Linda Hazzard was born in 1867, a wild time where women were legally allowed to be doctors. Hazzard wanted to be a doctor too, but she … Continue reading Linda Hazzard Haiku
Clark Stanley Haiku
Come! Buy my sketch meds! You can trust me, because I Saw Indian once. Welcome to Quack Week, where we explore some, how shall we say, 'questionable' practitioners and peddlers of medicine. We begin with Clark Stanley, who originated our image of the snake oil salesman. Snake oil as a medicine originated with the Chinese. … Continue reading Clark Stanley Haiku
Shakespeare Authorship Debate Haiku
Hot new theory! Top minds have uncovered truth! True author? Your mom. It's Saturday and the final day of Playwright Week. So fuck it, I'm going to rant about the stupidity that is the Shakespeare authorship debate. Hey, guess what we know about 99% of people who lived in 16th century England? Fuck all. How … Continue reading Shakespeare Authorship Debate Haiku
Agatha Christie Haiku
Husband wants divorce. Vanish, spark ten-day manhunt. Wow! That spiraled fast. Today on Playwright Week, we discuss Agatha Christie (1890-1976), author of the longest-running play of all time. (She also wrote some mystery novels, I think.) Specifically, I'm going to talk about her bonkers disappearance in 1926. Let me set the stage. She'd been married … Continue reading Agatha Christie Haiku
Thomas Kyd Haiku
Choose roommate wisely, Or suffer obscurity, Death in poverty. Today's subject on Playwright Week is poor Thomas Kyd, who nowadays is famous for 'The Spanish Tragedy' and not much else. For that, I blame Christopher Marlowe. Kyd was born the son of a London scrivener in 1558. He became a well-known playwright sometime in the … Continue reading Thomas Kyd Haiku
Anton Chekhov Haiku
Discovery of TB in Act One must lead To death in Act Three. Today on Playwright Week, we've got Anton Chekhov, who ALSO went to prison. If you're wondering if I'm purposefully seeking that out in this week's subjects now, the answer is 'yes.' Anton Chekhov was born in 1860 in Taganrog to a lovely … Continue reading Anton Chekhov Haiku
Kelsey Ehler, AKA The Great Kelsini 