World will call you 'whore', But quick wit and stage presence Will make term neutral. Welcome back to Actor Week! We're continuing with everyone's favorite royal mistress, Nell Gwynn. Born in 1650 in London, the details of her early life are decidedly nebulous. Her mother, Ellen, was probably a brothel owner and the identity of … Continue reading Nell Gwynn Haiku
Month: July 2018
Richard Burbage Haiku
Chill dark of winter Hamlet and bros strike out to Snatch back theater Let's continue with Actor Week! This is actually the fourth actor in a row, so fuck it, I'm keeping this going 'til Saturday. Today's subject is Richard Burbage, who was not just a famous Shakespearean actor, but the first, and a damned … Continue reading Richard Burbage Haiku
Laura Keene Haiku
Financial advice That's worked but once: "Husband gone? Consider acting." Nuts to it all; I'm declaring this Actor Week. The subject of our second installment is Laura Keene, who also had a connection to Lincoln's bad night out. Mary Frances Moss was born in England in 1826. She married young, to Wellington's nephew, and they … Continue reading Laura Keene Haiku
Edwin Booth Haiku
Family - can't live With 'em, can't crawl in hole when They shoot President. Poor Edwin Booth. Tried so hard to get past his shit childhood, hone his acting skills, and become the greatest Shakespearean actor of his generation, only to have his efforts thrown in an outhouse when his little prick of a brother … Continue reading Edwin Booth Haiku
Vera Karalli Haiku
Like perv Rasputin Is going to stay to get shanked If there's no hot dames. Vera Karalli, Russian ballerina, silent film actress, dance instructor, and probable co-conspirator in Rasputin's assassination, was born 129 years ago today. In those dramatic years before the Russian Revolution, she starred in a whopping sixteen silent films, including the very … Continue reading Vera Karalli Haiku
Mary Frith Haiku
Let the ladies smoke, Then they'll be thieving, pimping, Dressing as dudes. Gaze upon this picture and you'll be gazing in the face of a woman who gave no damns. Mary Frith, also known as Moll Cutpurse, died 359 years ago today. Born in 1584, it wasn't long before she started being indicted for swiping … Continue reading Mary Frith Haiku
Henri II Haiku
Youth weep from splinters, Kings weep from infected lance Wounds in royal brains. Henri II of France was crowned 471 years ago today, after syphilis took his dear old dad. Before he became king, young Henri had to spend four years in Spain as a Hapsburg hostage in place of pops. At the age of … Continue reading Henri II Haiku
Abram Petrovich Gannibal Haiku
To Siberia Exiled; how does one not freeze? Let's build a fortress. Abram Petrovich Gannibal (1696-1781) was the great grandfather of famed Russian poet Alexander Pushkin and had a pretty damned storied life himself. The boy who would be Abram was probably born in Eritrea, although there's debate about this. His father, a wealthy man, … Continue reading Abram Petrovich Gannibal Haiku
Lady Hyegyeong Haiku
Silly woman writes Of murderous prince husband, Thinks she'll be believed. Original photo by: Story-grapher(sang hun kim) (CC) (Can't find a pic, so you get her tomb) Lady Hyegyeong of Korea (1735—1816) was the unfortunate wife of Crown Prince Sado and less unfortunate mother of King Jeongjo. She came from a family that was close, … Continue reading Lady Hyegyeong Haiku
Cassius Clay Haiku
Stop bad man with gun With good man slicing him in Goddamn eyes with knife. Well, good-ish. Cassius Clay (no, not Muhammed Ali) died 115 years ago today. He was an odd duck. Born to a slaveholding plantation family in 1810, he became an abolitionist in 1832 while attending Yale. And not a paper one … Continue reading Cassius Clay Haiku
Kelsey Ehler, AKA The Great Kelsini 