Korean War Haiku

Flubbing relations

With locals won’t have bad cons-

Boom! Goodbye to Seoul.

The Korean War began 68 years ago today when North Korean forces invaded the South. And thanks to Dear Leader Trump, peace has finally returned! Hurray!

Why did the war happen to begin with? Well, it’s complicated. The abrupt end of the Japanese occupation created a teensy little problem of administration, namely, there no longer was any. The Soviets and the US promptly split up and occupied the peninsula and promptly started bickering with each other and the various Korean factions about what sort of government Korea was going to have. Eventually, elections were held – Kim Il Sung and Syngman Rhee became leaders of their respective halves, and the foreign troops left.

Then the Communists came to power in China. The US started to get nervous. And Kim Il Sung, whose forces aided the Chinese Communists and came back home with weaponry and certain promises, began to think an invasion of the South would not only be a good idea, but welcomed.

And that idea wasn’t so ridiculous, if you looked at it from his perspective. A large part of the reason his faction came to power was that the US, scrambling for Koreans to get their country running again, had a dilemma: the Japanese occupation had lasted for so long that practically the only Koreans with administrative experience had been collaborators. Appoint them and accept the blowback, or nah? They went ahead with it and gave Kim Il Sung a lot of unearned moral high ground. (Especially since he played up his decidedly minor role resisting the Japanese.) So yeah, let’s invade! It’ll be fun!

(This is all massively simplified, of course.)

But now there is peace at last, because Kim Jung Eun has promised Trump nothing much in particular.

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