Elizabeth Woodville Haiku

Shame! Royal romance

These days doesn’t lead to war,

Decapitations.

Elizabeth Woodville, queen to Edward IV, died 526 years ago today. She outlived two husbands (one of whom who couldn’t keep it in his tights, like, ever) and several children (some via high infant mortality rates, some via executions, some of via mysterious ‘disappearances’). She also had to deal with Henry VII as a son-in-law, which man, must have seemed a high price to seeing her daughter made queen.

The royal romances of the past century seem awfully low stakes in comparison. Oh no, you got divorced or had to abdicate, so sad. No one rebelled against your husband and forced you to hide out and give birth in a church partly on account of you, so buck up. Let’s see some blood.

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