I don't really give a shit today, so here's a dog picture. Okay, fine, Chihuahua history facts: They've been around since 100 AD, have only been recognized by the AKC since 1904, and have historically been used as living hot water bottles for aches, pains, and illnesses. These two in the foreground are mixes, but … Continue reading Whatevs
Month: June 2018
Pauline Sabin Haiku
Pauline Sabin was the founder of the Women's Organization for National Prohibition Reform. Born into both money and politics (her father was Teddy Roosevelt's Secretary of the Navy), thrice married (once divorced, once widowed), owner of an interior design business, mother of two sons... So why, exactly, did such a woman decide that her mission … Continue reading Pauline Sabin Haiku
Edward IV Haiku
Crown seized, Pops avenged. Time for new goal - sleep with all Ladies in England. Yes, we're still talking about the English monarchy and we're already back to the War of the Roses. I regret nothing. 557 years ago today, Edward, Earl of March, was crowned king at the age of 19. What makes this … Continue reading Edward IV Haiku
Patreon Page Revamp!
Hey, guys! I've started to revamp my Patreon page. Go have a look at the new reward tiers and if you're so inclined, become a patron!Edit: I've added goals. Get me to ten patrons, each patron will get a personal haiku. Pledge as little as $1 a month!http://patreon.com/kelsini
Anne of Cleves Haiku
Poorly-aging king Whines that Tinder pic misleads Someone's head will roll Anne of Cleves, fourth wife of Henry VIII, is best known for being dumped by a king who (although being handsome in his youth) was in no position to be judging anyone for their looks at his stage in life. Why was he even … Continue reading Anne of Cleves Haiku
Richard III Haiku
One nephew mislaid Is unfortunate. To lose Two is carelessness. Richard III became King of England 535 years ago today, which was a great decision that he definitely didn't come to regret. How did that even happen anyway? Short version: big bro Edward IV died earlier in the year, just shy of his 41st birthday, … Continue reading Richard III Haiku
Korean War Haiku
Flubbing relations With locals won't have bad cons- Boom! Goodbye to Seoul. The Korean War began 68 years ago today when North Korean forces invaded the South. And thanks to Dear Leader Trump, peace has finally returned! Hurray! Why did the war happen to begin with? Well, it's complicated. The abrupt end of the Japanese … Continue reading Korean War Haiku
Lucrezia Borgia Haiku
Brilliance, beauty Won't help your good rep if your Family's the worst. Lucrezia Borgia died after childbirth 500 years ago, likely without having poisoned anyone. Not even a single husband! (The marriage to her first husband was annulled, her second husband was probably murdered by her piece of shit brother Cesare, and her third husband … Continue reading Lucrezia Borgia Haiku
Victoria, Duchess of Kent Haiku
My sweet little girl Won't so much as shit in peace Until she is queen The grown woman you see here is Victoria, Duchess of Kent and Strathearn. The adorable poppet is the future Queen Victoria, blissfully unaware of the infuriating eighteen years she's in for. How frustrating? Having to sleep in the same damned … Continue reading Victoria, Duchess of Kent Haiku
Operation Barbarossa Haiku
Europe is all ours! Let's poke giant, insane bear To seal success. The Nazi Invasion of the Soviet Union, codenamed Operation Barbarossa, was launched this day 77 years ago. Anyone who thinks Adolf Hitler was some sort of military genius should have this thrown in their face repeatedly. Why? Oh, let's see. Most of western … Continue reading Operation Barbarossa Haiku
Kelsey Ehler, AKA The Great Kelsini 