Peter the Great Haiku

Fact gained through travel –

Beards are the foes of progress.

Shave ’em or shell out.

Peter the Great would have considered followers of the ‘lumbersexual’ trend backwards and enemies of progress. Then he would have taxed the shit out of them via the beard tax. Unreformed beard wearers would also wear medallions indicating that they had paid said tax.

I just finished reading Peter the Great: His Life and World, by Robert K Massie, and the beard tax is hardly the most interesting shit he pulled in order to drag Russia kicking and screaming into the eighteenth century. Like, how about building a whole new city (Saint Petersburg) because he wanted a port and thought Moscow sucked?

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