President Moon Allows Kim Jung-Eun to Pet Dog, Peace Ensues


International observers are hailing President Moon Jae-In of South Korea’s ‘masterstroke’ of bringing his adorable black rescue mutt Tory to his meeting with Kim Jung-Eun and allowing the dictator to pet him.

No one knew what to expect when President Moon came into the meeting room, the little Tory held lovingly in his arms. Tensions rose further when he placed the dog in Kim Jung-Eun’s shaking hands.

Several moments passed, the silence punctuated only by the flash of cameras and Tory’s wagging tail.

“Isn’t this a good boy?” President Moon asked encouragingly.

“Yes,” said Kim Jung-Eun, tears streaming down his red-blotched face as he snuggled Tory. “This is a very good boy.”

The Koreas came to an agreement after Kim Jung-Eun had a moment to collect himself.

Donald Trump does not have a dog, nor has he ever had any pets. Many observers cite as a factor in his lack of success in ringing in peace anywhere in the damned world, as he has never learned to love anything that wasn’t genetically related to him.

Kim Jung-Eun has vowed to ‘lay waste’ to animal shelters by ‘giving all friendless animals a home with me.’

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