(CC) Mark Jones
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge was overhead by about ten gazillion members of the paparazzi and other observers to whisper ‘run’ repeatedly to Meghan Markle, her future sister-in-law, last week.
“Run. Find a monastery somewhere. Hide out for a few years. I know you love him, but what of the cost? Run. Run. Run.”
She continued, “Run. Remember Di. Remember my sunbathing incident. Run.”
Duchess Kate was referring to a 2012 incident where a French photographer used a long-lense camera to snap pics of her sunbathing topless on a private terrace, in defiance of public expectation that royalty should never have boobs, even in private.
In response, Markle reportedly trembled, then shook her head with a grave countenance. “No,” she said. “It’s gone too far now. They’ll never let me be now, whether I marry Harry or dump him.”
“I’ll just have to let his love and incredible riches comfort me through the dark decades ahead.”
The two then calmly continued their brunch, which was repeatedly interrupted by the flash of cameras and interlopers scrutinizing their dietary and fashion choices.
Duchess Kate is now awaiting the arrival of her third child in St Mary’s Hospital, outside of which everyone and their dog is hanging out and irritating the hell out of staff and patients.